9 Signs That Remaining in Marriage will Only Hurt You
Bob Marley once said, “Everybody is going to hurt you. You just have to find the ones worth suffering for.” Strangers don’t do anything to you. It’s our own that hurt us. The closer a person is to you, more pain he/she can cause. It doesn’t necessarily mean that other person was at fault and intentionally hurt you. It just means that this is what the universe had planned for you. Most people in the world get hurt by their spouse who they had sworn to love till death. There is a reason why half the marriages in the US end up in divorce. It’s better to separate than keep hurting each other. Here I have shared nine signs that mean your relationship is long gone and that it’s better to get a divorce rather than suffering. It doesn’t mean that you are at fault or the partner is at fault; it just means that you weren’t meant for each other.
You are Always Fighting
If you and your spouse are always fighting, it could mean that you both no longer care about each other. We all know that shouting and arguing only hurts each other. Small disagreements are understandable and common. But if you are just fighting to win, it means you are married only by law. Such fight only ends in both of you hurt. It takes away your happiness and makes you mentally weak. If you feel that your spouse was only arguing to win the fight, or if you were doing the same; then think about putting an end to this misery.
He/She Has Cheated on You
Your relationship had already ended when your partner chose someone else above you. Never be the second option for anyone. Many people believe once a cheater is always a cheater. There can’t be logical reason to cheat on you unless someone put a gun on his/her head and ordered to do it. Your spouse broke the promise and disrespected your relation by sharing a unique experience with someone else that was only your right after marriage. Things will only get worse with time, and such habits are very unlikely to change. Unless you are alright with your partner having another relationship, there is no other option than to separate.
Do yourself and him/her a favor so there is no longer any borders limiting you both from doing what you want. If the partner spends time with someone while married to you, it means that third person is more important than this marriage. Your spouse might also be feeling guilty about doing this while in a relationship with you. Take that guilt away by freeing him/her of these bounds.
There was Domestic Violence
Domestic violence is a phase where there is no turning back. If your spouse has hurt you physically or mentally abused you, it’s no time to stay silent. If you didn’t do anything at such acts, this will only increase with time. Never allow anyone to abuse you no matter how special he/she is. If your partner has abused you or put false allegation of abuse on you, you need to find an experienced lawyer before the matter gets out of your hand. According to Orange County Domestic Violence Attorney, they see such cases on regular basis. Sometimes, there are people who have actually abused their partner while false accusations are also not very uncommon.
The latter usually happens when a woman is so sick of her partner that she doesn’t just want to get a divorce, but she wants to destroy him. As a woman, you should respect the partner even if there are disagreements. If you don’t like him, just get a divorce. A real man never hurts a woman. To hit your wife is just an act of cowardliness. It’s better to separate instead of hitting if, as a husband, you feel your wife pushes you to limits where you lose your mind.
You’ve Lost Peace of Mind
Home is supposed to be a place where your loved ones are. It’s one place where you feel safe and peaceful. If that’s not the case, it’s not your home anymore. A bad relationship takes away all your peace of mind. There is nothing forcing you to be bear this torture. You should always first try to fix things. Make a list of all the things that your partner does to mentally hurt you. Discuss every single thing and try to understand the reasons behind it. Could it be that the partner needs your attention and that’s why he/she has been acting this way?
It could also mean that partner needs help. He/ She might be going through a very difficult time and in a lot of pain. Your spouse might not know what they are doing or why they are doing. A person in pain sometimes forgets the pain of people around. That might also be the case. Make sure you do your best to understand every aspect of the matter and that it’s not you who’s causing these problems. If you don’t find any solution to this problem, then divorce is the only option. First discuss each matter openly; opt for separation only if you find this problem out of your ken.
You Don’t Feel the Same Way
There doesn’t have to be one bad person that destroys the marriage. Even if there is no fight or any understanding issue, there is a possibility that you might not feel the same way about your partner as you once used to. It doesn’t mean that you are a terrible person. It happens and is one of the common reasons behind divorce. Usually things start go wrong from this point and onwards. When you don’t love each other, there starts misunderstandings and fights which eventually lead to the separation.
You can either go through all the troubles or rip off the band in one go – the latter hurts less. It usually happens when you misunderstood your partner before marriage or you are misunderstanding them now. Your partner might have changed or maybe you have changed. Whichever the case, first try to sort the problem. Anticipate your future and discuss it, cut the line if you believe things will only get worse with time.
You Hide Your Personality from Them
Many couples have shared that they can’t be themselves in front of their partner. You are supposed to find yourself with your spouse. You share the most intimate and sensitive parts of your life with each other. You show your vulnerabilities and support and protect each other. If that’s not the case, how do you define your relationship with your partner? You know you don’t necessarily have to live together and be married if it’s just about sleeping together.
There’s No Sharing Anymore
Some couples start great, but get down with time. It could be because of unrealistic expectations of each other which disappoint you with time. One of the most common signs, in this case, is the lack of communication. You both stop sharing with each other. You don’t talk, share your problems or happiness, or do anything new together. If such is the case, try opening up to your significant other.
There is a reason each member of a married couple is called ‘significant other’. Try talking and discussing your concerns. Tell them that your relationship might not be going the right way. Look for a solution together instead of jumping to conclusions alone. If you both agree that there is a problem and you can’t solve it only then you should think about any other way. I would also recommend visiting a couple counselor to help you sort things out before taking any difficult decisions.
You Don’t Want to Spend time with Each Other
There is something seriously wrong if even after spending your entire day working at different places, you still feel down thinking about going to your spouse. You should be looking forward to spending with the significant other. It’s a clear sign that you two don’t belong to each other. Look for the reasons behind this behavior. What is it exactly that you hate when thinking about your partner? The solution to any relationship problem is communication. The solutions may not be exactly as you had hoped it, but the problem will be no more with the right communication.
You Want to Be With Someone Else
If not your spouse, where else do you want to be? It happens with many people that their heart belongs to someone other than their marriage partner. If you want to be with someone else, then go be with them but don’t hurt who you are supposed to love. Discuss the matter with your partner that your happiness lies somewhere else and that you two don’t belong to each other. It is better to discuss such a problem as soon you realize it; otherwise, you might end up doing something making you the bad person and with guilt for lifetime. It is normal to be attracted to people other than your partner. If you want to spend your entire life with them, only then should you end this first relation.